N = New - otherwise it's a reread.
February Books: (8) - Yes, it's totally embarrassing but I was/am reading a handful of books all at the same time, so I finished only a few - March should be a big one though. Also, I pretty much re-re-re-re- read all of my favorites - It's a comfort thing.
Brigid's Charge - Cynthia Lamb
A Scattered Life - Karen McQuestion
The Long Way Home - Karen McQuestion
11/22/63 - Stephen King
The Institute - Stephen King
The Passage - Justin Cronin
Dreamgates - Robert Moss N - and a fabulous book to add to my dreamwork/psychopomp collection
A Discovery of Witches - Deborah Harkness
I Things connect. We don't always see it but the Universe knows what is going on and sends all sorts of synchronicity our way until we see it or get smacked upside the head with it.
From the last dream on 11.22.20 The Eleusinian Mystery tour - I started looking for more on the subject and hoping for another dream to help light that one up but other things got in the way and while I never forgot it, I just didn't concentrate much on it until recently.
I finished Robert Moss's book Dreamgates last night and was thinking about his Active Dreaming techniques for going back into a dream to suss it out and started reading more on the Mysteries themselves. I had forgotten it was about Initiation into the Cult of Demeter and her daughter Persephone. Not much else is known but general guessing, because it was death to anyone who told what happened during the rites. But it was theorized that the rebirth of Persephone symbolized the eternity of life which flows from generation to generation, and they believed that they would have a reward in the afterlife. As well as to elevate man above the human sphere into the divine and to assure his redemption by making him a god and so conferring immortality upon him.
Oddly enough, I was looking for a new book to read and Amazon Unlimited had a deal on some new books for free. One was A Touch of Darkness by Scarlett St. Clair and low and behold - it is a retelling of the Persephone/Hades myth! I see what you're doing there Universe LOL
So, last night, while having all these symbols flying through my head and trying to journal them all down, I keep wondering what it all MEANS.
Then I have the dream.
I am in a house that looks like my grandparents farm - I walk out onto the back porch and fall/lay down? A male comes out and looks down at me, like I am faking being hurt or dead? Or something like that and then walks away as if to say I am on my own. I get the feeling he was like the Animus, telling me I can do this on my own.
So, I get up and walk around a corner into a square open space of green grass surrounded by trees. (hope, renewal, growth, levels realms) It is evening/darkish. Things start to shift - normal/then super vivid clarity. And with the shift a few things appear/disappear. I see a castle type building appear in a very colorful shiny shimmery way, then disappear - and I realize I am seeing two worlds. This world and the Otherworld (after death)
Interesting to note but Castles can mean refuge, protection and individuation. Jung believed that the solitude represented by the castle was necessary to the process of individuation.
I look up and see three crows flying around me - I start singing and one flies to me and lands on my left arm. He is black but then switches to white - on and off. I keep looking around me in wonder that I can do this and it feels like home. (left arm - left symbolizing, unconscious, night, moon, death and the underworld)
I realize I am to help others cross over and there is a male waiting in a cement out building off the grassy tree area I am in. I go sit with him and we talk about various things and I feel really badly that I have to do this or that he has to die... but he is totally ok with it and is ready and then he just "goes."
I also get the feeling there was a door opening behind him in the cement wall and I think there was a station there - subway? Train? Place to board and go on....
In a later dream before waking - I am working at a disneylandish place, I am new and I need to find this item to restock and I cant find the exact item and I am getting panicky and want to flee, run, go but instead I stop and stay and try to think of a way to get through this without running. Then I wake up. (this is important because I used to always just leave bad situations instead of dealing with them - also, remember what the Hierophant asked me in the Eleusinian Dream? Do I want to do what I always do or what I should do? - I chose differently this time.)
So, I asked my Thoth deck how best to look at all of this and pulled the Three of Swords - not a generally cheery card - but holy crap. One of the keyphrases, "purpose in life," and "individuation." Um... yes.
Because in this dream I am a Psychopomp.
Crows are also known as pyschopomps as well as messages from your subconscious mind. They herald change and transformation and can fly between the world of the living and the dead. They also help you see your Purpose in Life.
Synchronicity at its finest. I have been reading a LOT about the death doula industry for a few years now and was hoping to take classes last year before Covid arrived. It is still in my mind, helping people have a Good Death - especially those that may be scared and alone and just want some dignity. This dream, connected with the Eleusinian Dream - sealed that deal.
I guess you could call me a Modern Day Persephone - one thing I know for sure - waking up and finally knowing what your life purpose is? There are no words to describe it. I am so full of energy right now that I am practically flying like the crows in my dream.
Wow. Just. Wow.
I knew this was a Big Dream the moment I was awakened from it but I didn't realize HOW big until synchronicity came into play awhile later. Things started connecting in a huge way. But I need to get the original dream down before I connect the dots. I am bolding the bits that are or end up being synchronous.
I am in a "locker room" type area and I come out between a few rows of lockers to a male companion? I point to a Dragon pin on my upper chest and tap it - saying this is how you will know me, if I am changed. Then we say goodbye and I walk into this stone building/city. You can see my chicken scratch dream drawing of the layout in the photos up there.
I feel strong and powerful - no hesitations at all during this dream.
Everything feels dark/night and while I don't think it is underground I sense a basementy feel? The stones are huge that make up the rooms and some are damp, I can also hear water trickling somewhere. I tell myself I should use one hand to follow the walls so I don't get lost, like in a mirror maze. When I go to do that I realize I am holding a small metal reddish key that looks like a Egyptian crook.
I turn into a second room and there is a bed/platform in it with a older man who looks spot on like the RWS Hierophant. We don't speak outloud but I hear him in my head and know he wants the key. Then he says to me, "Do you want to choose who/what you always choose or do you want to pick what you are supposed to choose?"
He then looks relieved that I say, after thinking about it, what I am supposed to choose - like maybe I have done this over and over and never chosen correctly. He tells me to continue...
I walk through this wide open stone doorway into an open area. (see my drawing as well as the photo of the Telesterion)
It is night/dark and to my right it feels like open area with grass and rubbley bits of stuff. Straight ahead it is a long road and to my left up a hillish bit is a stone throne thing. Like the RWS emperor card. At first it seems like a stone man is on the throne but then a real man is standing next to it. In the distance a bit off, two people are walking away as if they had just visited the throne.
I am still on the road a bit aways and I notice that my clothes need adjusting. I am wearing a silky type robe (asian/indian?) and it is tied tightly so I can't pull up my leggings which are drooping and it feels very important that I fix this before anyone sees me.
And then my stupid neighbors make a lot of noise and wake me up. Dammit.
There is a lot of symbolism in this dream and to me it was very important but the part I need to really focus on is that a week or so later I was reading Dreamgates by Robert Moss (see the photo of the page of text) and he talks of a Hierophant in a dream and the Eleusinian Mysteries.
I have heard of them but no real knowledge so I of course, Google the hell out of it. And ...
My. Jaw. Drops.
Because I saw the photo of the place, Telesterion, where these Mysteries are held and drumroll.... I walked right into my dream.
There is more but needs to be a different post with another dream and more synchronicity!
Totally unrelated photo I took because I liked the shadows
N = New - otherwise it's a reread.
January Books: (19)
The Dark Archive - Genevieve Cogman (Invisible Library series) N
Another fabulous book in the series - I wish I could just fall into this world!
Widowish A Memoir - Melissa Gould N
Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone MinaLima edition - JK Rowling
I got this edition for xmas and it is just pure magical gold. The illustrations really bring the book to life and it has all sorts of fun pop ups and add ins.
The Book of Bright Ideas - Sandra Kring
Life and other Near Death Experiences - Camille Pagan N
Three Souls - Janie Chang
Snow Flower and the Secret Fan - Lisa See
Secret Language of Dreams - Fontana
The Death Class - Erika Hayasaki
Casket Chronicles - TA Walters N
Earth Abides - George R Stewart N
Grateful American - Gary Sinise N
The Pants of Perspective - Anna McNuff N
Llama Drama - Anna McNuff N
50 Shades of the USA - Anna McNuff N
These three were a fun find - they follow Anna's adventures via running, biking and adventure and are just a fun read.
Buddha and the Bee - Cory Mortensen N
This one made me laugh out loud at times and cringe at others - but its a fun read about Cory going from the midwest to San Fran on his bike with literally no plans and minimal supplies.
Dreamspeak - Rosemary Ellen Guiley
Floating Feathers - Ross Zbar MD N
The Map - Colette Baron-Reid
Dreams are coming fast and vivid the past few days - first I am birthing things, then I am facing my fears and conquering them - standing in my own power. But this morning was - I think blockage. Something I need to work on.
First, I am out somewhere and I call my mom and dad to come get me - they do and they take me home, which was the house I grew up in. When I dream of my dad, it means I need to pull up my big girl pants and get serious - when I dream of my mom it means I need to be or feel safe or I need comfort.
Once home, they go to bed, it's night - and I am trying frantically to send messages to friends letting them know where I am - but nothing is working. My phone/computer either wont connect or the mail wont send or something is just wrong. This happens when I am having communication issues in the real world - although, I didn't think I was having any. Something is miscommunicating anyway.
So, then I go down the hall to tell my mom that nothing is working, I have a blanket wrapped around my shoulders (comfort I think) - it is all dark/night and she is asleep on the living room floor by the sofa. I notice as I walk down the hall that a huge black snake comes out of the hall closet and glides around the room on the upper wall before stopping at the bookshelves and crawling into the middle shelf to watch me. I HATE snakes in real life, but here I am faking not scared? Trying to pretend it doesn't freak me out? So it wont sense fear? Something like that - so my mom wont wake up so I cant tell her I can't communicate with anyone and then I notice that the snake is now lighting up/glowing in the dark. The colors are like the Stuart Semple LIT green and orange - and they are in stripes down its body and then face. First green then orange. (Green - growth. Orange - expansive, mind expanding)
I am really trying to get my mom to wake up so she can see this but no, she sleeps LOL I watch it shift colors until it starts to move off the shelf. I feel a bit worried here as I dont want it near me so I tighten up my blanket (safety) and move back to the hall door and then shut it behind me. As in real life, this door has a small metallic grate in the bottom and I can see the snake in front of the door.
It's acting almost like a little kid who wants attention? Kinda moving back and forth making weird noises and kind of tantrumy? I don't like this so I hit the door and stomp my foot - it stops for a moment then starts up again so I repeat the door stomp then I say NO - like scolding a kid.
Then the black snake morphs into a small reddish colored lynx. I am not even remotely surprised about this and tell it to sit and stay and it does.
Then I wake up.
So the black snake it see as transformation, healing, kundalini, vital energy but also my sort of fear for it - or my need to overcome that fear for the unknown, mystery, unexplored part of me. Also, I have put a door in between us - I am blocking my moving into a new space of transition. It glows green/growth and orange/expansion.
Lynx - seer of the unseen - drawing my attention to where I need to focus right now. See things I am not seeing - deceptions hidden.
This really gave me something to work on at any rate - I need to unblock some fears, communicate what I am after and focus better as well as letting some fears go so I can move forward.
Dreams are awesome roadmaps!
So, here we go!
N - Newly read
R - Reread
January - 15
The Invisible Library - Genevieve Cogman R
The Masked City - Genevieve Cogman R
The Burning Page - Genevieve Cogman R
The Lost Plot - Genevieve Cogman R
Night Sins - Tami Hoag N
Dark Paradise - Tami Hoag N
Under the Dome - Stephen King R
Island of The Lost - Joan Druett N
The Stand - Stephen King R
A Map of Days (Miss Peregrine) - Ransom Riggs N
From the Corner of His Eye - Dean Koontz R
The Face - Dean Koontz R
The Passage - Justin Cronin R
The Twelve - Justin Cronin R
The City of Mirrors - Justin Cronin R
February - 9 (I found paint by numbers and disney emoji blitz taking up my time LOL)
Year Zero - Jeff Long R
Hearts in Atlantis - Stephen King R
Tam Lin - Pamela Dean R
Real Magic - Dean Radin N
The Fellowship of the Ring - JRR Tolkien R
The Two Towers - JRR Tolkien R
The Return of the King - JRR Tolkien R
The Bone Setters Daughter - Amy Tan R
Awakened - James Murry/Darren Wearmouth N
March - 9 (my attention span died, thank you CoronaVirus)
Timeline - Michael Crichton R
Joyland - Stephen King R
Revival - Stephen King R
From a Buick 8 - Stephen King R
The Crucible - James Rollins R
Pandemic - AG Riddle N
Genome - AG Riddle N
The Atlantis Gene - AG Riddle N
The Atlantis Plague - AG Riddle N
April - 10 (comfort books by King LOL)
The Atlantis World - AG Riddle N
The Last Odyssey - James Rollins N
The Neuroscientist Who Lost Her Mind - Barbara Lipska N
Life of Pi - Yann Martel R
Whitethorn Woods - Maeve Binchy R
Good in Bed - Jennifer Weiner R
Certain Girls - Jennifer Weiner R
The Mermaid Chair - Sue Monk Kidd R
Next to Love - Ellen Feldman R
The Little Book - Selden Edwards R
May - 10
A Discovery of Witches - Deborah Harkness R
Shadow of Night - Deborah Harkness R
The Book of Life - Deborah Harkness R
Times Convert - Deborah Harkness N
Local Girls - Alice Hoffman R
Black Bird House - Alice Hoffman R
Mutant Message Down Under - Marlo Morgan R
Conscious Dreaming - Robert Moss N
The Three Only Things -Robert Moss R
Moonology - Jasmine Boland N
June - 17 (my brain is picking back up as I get sort of used to Covid)
Memory and Dream - Charles DeLint R
Rose Madder - Stephen King R
Sleeping Beauties - Stephen King/Owen King N
Summer Sisters - Judy Blume R
The Summer Guest - Justin Cronin N
Beautiful Day - Elin Hilderbrand R
Winter Street - Elin Hilderbrand R
The Third Gate - Lincoln Child N
The Fortune Teller - Gwendolyn Womak N
The Memory Painter - Gwendolyn Womak R
The Gunslinger - Stephen King R
The Drawing of Three - Stephen King R
The Wastelands - Stephen King R
Wizard and Glass - Stephen King R
The Wind Through the Keyhole - Stephen King R
Wolves of the Calla - Stephen King R
Song of Susannah - Stephen King R
July - 15
The Dark Tower - Stephen King R
The Lost City of the Monkey God - Douglas Preston N
In Shock - Dr Rana Awdish N
Body of Work - Christine Montross R
Wicked - Gregory Maguire R
Son of a Witch - Gregory Maguire R
A Lion Among Men - Gregory Maguire R
Out of Oz - Gregory Maguire R
Your Blue is Not My Blue - Aspen Matis N
The Club King - Peter Gatien N
Mile 445 - Hitched in Her Hiking Boots - Claire Miller N
Hiking the PCT - Bruce Nelson N
Waking Up in a Tent - Laurel Gord N
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone - JK Rowling R
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets - JK Rowling R
August -19 (because stuck inside allll the time)
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban - JK Rowling R
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire - JK Rowling R
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix - JK Rowling R
Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince - JK Rowling R
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - JK Rowling R
The Language of Spells - Sarah Painter N
The Secret of Ghosts - Sarah Painter N
Into the Wild - Jon Krakauer R
When Breathe Becomes Air - Paul Kalanithi R
Hold Still - Sally Mann R
The Swan Gondola - Timothy Schaffert R
The Last Lecture - Randy Pausch R
How We Die - Sherwin Nuland N
Advice for the Future Corpse - Sallie Tisdale N
The Little Paris Bookshop - Nina George N
Choosing to Die (VSED) - Phyllis Shacter N
Patty Janes House of Curl - Lorna Landvik R
Angry Housewives Eating Bon Bons - Lorna Landvik R
The View From Mounty Joy - Lorna Landvik R
September 19 (note I start re re re reading my comfort books because man, this year sucks)
The Stand - King R
Dying Well - Susan Hoben N
The Experiments - Bill Thompson N
Die Again - Bill Thompson N
This Won't Hurt Me A Bit - Josh McAdams N
Out of My Head - Josie Blaine N
Sisterhood Everlasting - Ann Brashares R
The Hunger Games - Suzanne Collins R
Catching Fire - Suzanne Collins R
Mockingjay - Suzanne Collins R
The Spirits of Brady Hall - ML Bullock R
The Grey Lady of Wilmer - ML Bullock R
Seven Sisters - ML Bullock R
Moonlight Falls on Seven Sisters - ML Bullock R
Shadows Stir at Seven Sisters - ML Bullock R
The Stars that Fell (Seven Sisters ) - ML Bullock R
A Discovery of Witches - Harkness R
Shadow of Night - Harkness R
The Book of Life - Harkness R
October - 19 (tons of kindle unlimited halloween scary books)
The Proctor Hall Horror - Bill Thompson N
WTF Is Tarot - Bakara Wintner R
The Haunting of Brynn Wilder - Wendy Webb N
The Physick Book of Deliverance Dane - Katherine Howe R
Destination Truth Memoir - Josh Gates N
The Langoliers - Stephen King R
The Stars We Walked Upon (Seven Sisters) - ML Bullock R
The Sun Rises Over Seven Sisters - ML Bullock R
The Ghosts of Idlewood - ML Bullock R
Dreams of Idlewood - ML Bullock R
The Whispering Saint - ML Bullock R
The Haunted Child - ML Bullock R
Return to Seven Sisters Series - ML Bullock R
Haunted Gracefield - ML Bullock N
The Three Graces - ML Bullock N
Grace Before Dying - ML Bullock N
A Cup of Shadows - ML Bullock N
The Line - JD Horn R
The Halloween Tree - Ray Bradbury R (Halloween night tradition)
November - 11
The Source - JD Horn R
The Void - JD Horn R
Dead Mountain - Donnie Eichar R
Working Stiff - Judy Melinek MD N
More Letters From the Pit - Patrick Crocker N
Bones of the Earth - Michael Swanwick R
Extraordinary Means - Robyn Schneider R
The Quilters Apprentice - Jennifer Chiaverini R
Round Robin - Jennifer Chiaverini R
Cross Country Quilters - Jennifer Chiaverini R
Ready Player One - Ernest Cline R
December 9 (I count Obama's book as 5 as it was 700 plus pages and so full of great stories that I read it slowly)
A Promised Land - Barack Obama N
The Enigma Cube - Douglas Richards N
The Girl Who Came Home - Hazel Gaynor R
Near Death in the ICU - Lauren Bellg MD N
Heart and Soul - Maeve Binchy R
Midnight at the Bright Ideas Bookstore - Matthew Sullivan N
The Secret Chapter - Genevieve Cogman R
Ready Player Two - Ernest Cline N
The Dark Archive - Genevieve Cogman N
and that is 162 books of 2020 (last year I did 166)
I can top that.
happy new year all! happy reading!
Now Winter comes Slowly, Pale, Meager and Old
First trembling with Age, and then quiv'ring with Cold;
Benumb'd with hard Frosts, and with Snow cover'd o'er,
Prays the Sun to Restore him, and Sings as before.
Lyrics by Sting - Photo by Me.
Sometimes there is a perfect magic that connects your eye to your camera to the world and this is one of those times. I love it when that happens.
So, I decided to see what my Thoth deck would say about this 2020 election.
Card 1: Biden.
Card 2: trump.
Card 3: aftermath.
Each card represents the energies that person needs to have or embody, to succeed.
I want to say Biden has the obvious edge with the Fool but good grief. trump and that 2? Nope.
That 2 of cups is about loving unity and balance which I'm not getting from him.
The aftermath, 6 of swords, feels like a good way to start- embracing rational thoughts, which we have had precious little of. Success after anxiety and a search for truth.
I posted that on my IG account and got some great responses - especially not seeing the #2 as coming in second LOL For me, it says Biden has the much needed Fool energies to take the race and start a new chapter for us all. trump has none of the qualities in card 2 but he has the arrogance and money to bully his way forward.
The 6 of swords brings us rational thought and moving away from troubled, stressed times to calmer waters. We have had precious little rational thinking the last 4 years and we need to start now.
With trump now blustering and bloviating his way into telling us we should stop counting the rest of the legally cast ballots because he won and to keep counting would be wrong, we are seeing more of his craziness. But then the major news outlets made provisions for just such a occurrence and had plans in place.
I honestly do not see his appeal at all. He has no leadership abilities and he lies, cheats and steals what he wants. Yet, so many people follow the cult of trump. That is the problem. While trump has become a leader icon - it is only showing up the fact that so many people are just as nuts as he is. And the crazies want to keep on winning any way they can.
It. Is. Terrifying.
If, IF , he has done any good in his last 4 years (and I have yet to see any good from him,) it does NOT in any way make up for all the crap he has pulled. The hurt, the fear, the undoing of things that he doesn't like. I do not and will not ever understand how a sane, rational, loving, good person, could think he should be leading anything.
Not vicious or malicious
Just de-lovely and delicious