Things build. You don't think they are, you think that you are doing quite well and dealing with daily life and doing what you have to do and then all of a sudden you find yourself in the middle of a traffic jam, screaming at idiot drivers who are texting and not driving and wanting to ram your car into theirs.
That was totally me awhile ago. I couldn't quite pinpoint my frustration, only that it was there and making me miserable. I would try to minimize it all by repeating I have a good job, I have a place to live and a car to drive and I am not lacking anything vital.... but it wasn't really helping because it wasn't showing me what was bugging me.
Then one day, stuck in traffic as usual, I realized that I have no control over the traffic. The traffic is going to be there. I have to be in it and there it was..... bolt of lightning to the head.
Control.... or lack thereof.
I realized right then that I have so little control over things in my life right now and that is just the way it is, right now. I couldn't change those things and it drove me nuts - still does, to be honest but on that day I had to change something. I had to find what little control I had. I had to find my groove again.
There are so many quotes and sayings about this topic. Changing the way you look at things and stop wishing for something and making it happen. Being happy with what you have right now.
You can't just wish for something - you have to make a plan and follow it.
Being miserable is no way to live. Passive wishing isn't going to help either, it will just make it worse. Find what you do have control over and start from there. Even if the only thing you have control over is your mind and how you see things. Find a way to give yourself even just one moment a day to find your center and do something nice for yourself.
I needed attainable goals to get through the day by day. I chose to try and be happy. Seems easy enough but I am telling you it can be hard work. And it is helping. But it is also a daily thing. I have to remind myself of the things I have control over and to be thankful for all the little things that add up to big things.
I will probably always be a control freak, probably because my circumstances tend to lead me into situations where I have so little control and it makes me edgy and nervous. But by forcing myself to change my thinking I am getting better at letting things go and focusing on what I have right in front of me. And if it is an idiot driver texting while veering into my lane? I am thankful I can move over and turn up the music because I can control how many times I listen to Stayin' Alive and Groove is in the Heart. (and that is many many times)
Not vicious or malicious
Just de-lovely and delicious