The problem with reading multiple books at a time is that one never finishes anything in a timely manner LOL   Plus, I have been busy studying and learning more about End of Life Care as well as doing life stuff.  I do read in bits and pieces but this month was a big THREE books finished.

Choosing to Die VSED - Phyllis Shacter -a re-read for class

11 22 63 - Stephen King  a re-read because I love this book and it was on hand

Diablo Mesa - Preston & Child   A NEW book because Library Book sale and I loved it to bits.

​Maybe more next month? LOL

Books Read in April

4 - yeah, I know but I have been in class for EOL training so I have not had much time. Also, I like playing with my cat.

Midlife Cancer - A Memoir - Pamela McColloch

The Dying Process - Katie Duncan

Wishful Drinking - Carrie Fisher

Sate of Wonder - Ann Patchett

​All new books, no re-reads and all good ones to boot!

Books Read For November
So embarrassing - but you know, a kitten will take up time and I will happily give it to her LOL

Total - 4

Flying on the Inside - Rachel Gotto  N
The Night Sister - Jennifer McMahon  R
From Here to Eternity - Caitlin Doughty  R
The Radium Girls - Kate Moore  N

​Eh, maybe December will have more - or maybe not. I like playing with Barley LOL

Did we all Rabbit Rabbit this morning? Good Good.

Books read in September - Total 17
N = New  R = Reread

Billy Summers - Stephen King   N  And OMG this book was so good.

Mary Twelves - ML Bullock  N

Broken (In the Best Way Possible) Jenny Lawson   N

The Bones of Marietta - ML Bullock  N

Footsteps of Angels - ML Bullock   N

The Fellowship of the River - Joseph Tafur   N

I Am A Runner - Maria Papalia-Meier  N

Out of My Head - Josie Blaine  R 

A Few Minor Adjustments - Cherie Kephart   N

When We Believed in Mermaids - Barbara O'Neal  N

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban  - JK Rowling R

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince -JK Rowling R

Piranesi - Susanna Clarke  N   ABSOLUTELY LOVED THIS BOOK

Prisoners without Bars - A Caregivers Tale - Donna Figurski  N

Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows - JK Rowling  R

A Field Guide to Lucid Dreaming - Tuccilo, Zeizel and Peisel   N

​Not Quite Enough - Catherine Bybee   N

Books Read August
A Record! 
23 Books - Most read prior to that was 20!  Woot   Of course that means I wasn't doing much else LOL  August/Summer heat always makes me very seasonally depressed so books help counter that.

N = New
R = Re-read

Reliquary - Preston & Child    R
The Woman Who Breathed Two Worlds  - Selina Siak Chin Yoke   R
The Ice Limit - Preston & Child    R
Cabinet of Curiosities - Preston & Child    R
Riptide - Preston & Child    R
Shamanic Experience - Kenneth Meadows   N
Brimstone - Preston & Child    R
Plenty A Memoir - Hannah Howard  N
Dance of Death - Preston & Child    R
The Book of the Dead - Preston & Child    R
The Shining - Stephen King  R
The Wheel of Darkness - Preston & Child    R
Animal Medicine - Erika Buenaflor  N
Fever Dream -Preston & Child    R
Two Graves - Preston & Child    R
Healing with Shamanism - Jaime Meyer   N
The Tarot Shaman - Katz & Goodwin   N
White Fire -Preston & Child    R
Chakra Healing - Jessica Adams   N
Blue Labyrinth - Preston & Child    R
Animal Totems & Spirit Animals - Carly Van Heeder  N
Crimson Shore - Preston & Child    R
​You've Been So Lucky Already - Alethea Black  R

Books for July

And another slow-ish month. But I was doing a lot of studying on line, so the book count is lower.

N - New
R- Reread

Angelfire East - Terry Brooks   R

Urban Shaman - Serge Kahili King  N

Darwin's Radio - Greg Bear   R

Peony in Love - Lisa See   R

Hikertrash Life on the PCT - Erin Miller   N

Old Bones - Preston & Child   N

The Night Circus - Erin Morgenstern   R

Relic - Preston & Child   R


I should probably start linking this to a bookseller LOL

Another slow-ish month of me reading several books at once and not finishing many of them

11 total
N = New
R = Reread

Station Eleven - Emily St. John Mandel   R

Hope - Marc Levy  N

Last Wish - Betty Rollin    N

House of Leaves - Mark Z. Danielewski   R

Life after Life - Raymond Moody   N

The Menopause Manifesto - Jen Gunter  N

Running with the Demon - Terry Brooks   R

A Knight of the Word - Terry Brooks   R

(almost got the third one of the trilogy in there but didn't make it LOL)

Awakening to the Spirit World -Shamanic Path of Direct Revelation - Sandra Ingerman and Hank Wesselman   N

Mortuary Confidential - Todd Harra and Kenneth McKenzie   N

April Books
N = New
R = Reread

April I think sets a record at 20 books read. A lot were study books for End of Life Care/Psychopomping - I devoured those.

The Dreamers Book of the Dead - Robert Moss   N

Mr. Poppers Penguins - The Atwaters   R - but read LONG ago a fav childhood book

An Invincible Summer - Mariah Stewart   N

Consciousness Continues - Heather Dominguez   N

A Voice From Her Past - ML Bullock   N

The Sacred Power of Huna  - Rima Morrell    R

Through the Rabbit Hole /Explore Shamanism - Jan Engels Smith  N

The Shamanic Journey Beginners Guide - Gerry Starnes   N

Power Animals - Gerry Starnes  N

Summer Sisters - Judy Blume  R

Dogs and Goddesses - Cruise, Stuart, Rich   R

The Elusinian Mysteries a History - Charles River Editors  N

The Elusinian Mysteries and Rites - Dudley Wright   N

The Meadow Project - Trey Hudson   N

The Secret Power of Spirit Animals - Sky Alexander  N

Skinwalker Ranch - Conrad Bauer   N

A Beginners Guide to the End - BJ Miller and Shoshana Berger   N

Near Death Experiences - Conrad Bauer  N

The Big Beautiful - Pamela Duncan  N

​Moon Women - Pamela Duncan  R

I am on a Barker jag at the moment. I just finished re-reading Imajica and am now re-reading Weaveworld.  

This was my first foray into the wonderful fantasy world of Clive Barker - I had seen the Hellraiser movies but hadn't read anything by him until I borrowed this one years and years ago from a friend. I couldn't put it down and actually refused to stop reading until it got so dark I couldn't see properly!

I love the worlds he creates. This one in particular, the magical fantasy land inside a tapestry carpet, just got my attention. A world we dream of or only see it dreams, called The Fugue has been hidden in a carpet to save it from those who would rule and destroy it. 

The characters make this come alive and I am trying to read it slowly to make it last but yeah, that's impossible LOL    I guess I can console myself with knowing that I can then re-read The Great and Secret Show - or Cold Heart Canyon!  The possibilities and worlds, are endless.

  I had been wanting to read this book since it came out 2 years ago and finally got to it yesterday.  I knew the outcome - and still, I sobbed at the end. His words just sang - they were poetry and prose and so beautiful. 

I have been reading a lot about the end of life and how the body dies - I am studying to be a death doula or something in that arena.  Books like Body of Work by Christine Montross and The Death Class by Norma Bowe really helped open that topic up.  Death seems to be relegated to the "do not discuss in polite society," arena and that is quite sad.

If one does not look at death... how does one live?

But I had only really been looking at that one side of it, the after the body dies, what happens part. Sam Parnia's AWARE studies totally grabbed my attention - you should look at his work with NDEs. I was fascinated by the whole thing.  But it wasn't until I finished When Breath  Becomes Air that it really hit me - the "how does one live" part - or even why does one live?  

To live a meaningful life.

Paul Kalanithi lived one his entire life - always searching and always learning - and he put all that he learned into his book. He died before he could finish it - his wife did an excellent job in the afterword of giving the book and the life of Paul, closure, but even though he didn't "finish," it, his words and his emotions, told the story perfectly.

What I kept coming back to over and over was what makes a life meaningful?  And how do we live in a meaningful way?  

Some quotes from the book and there are so many good ones - you should read the book:

“You can’t ever reach perfection, but you can believe in an asymptote toward which you are ceaselessly striving.” 

“Human knowledge is never contained in one person. It grows from the relationships we create between each other and the world, and still it is never complete.” 

“There is a moment, a cusp, when the sum of gathered experience is worn down by the details of living. We are never so wise as when we live in this moment.” 

“Years ago, it had occurred to me that Darwin and Nietzsche agreed on one thing: the defining characteristic of the organism is striving.”

When faced with his coming death - this is what was asked - in how he wanted to live and what his main focus would be in living during his illness - “What makes life meaningful enough to go on living?” 
He was a brilliant surgeon, did he want to continue that life as he dealt with his cancer - or was there another path he wanted to try?  And when did he want to stop... at what point would he say this is enough?

And then this:
To his daughter, who was only months old when he died - “That message is simple: When you come to one of the many moments in life when you must give an account of yourself, provide a ledger of what you have been, and done, and meant to the world, do not, I pray, discount that you filled a dying man’s days with a sated joy, a joy unknown to me in all my prior years, a joy that does not hunger for more and more, but rests, satisfied. In this time, right now, that is an enormous thing.” 

I guess, for me, I need to find something to bring meaning, not just to me, but to leave behind me. We all strive, but for what? To what end? What gives each of us a meaningful life? I think that is why we are here. To use this one life to find meaning and to make the world we share a better place.