IKEA - Trapped in Hell

Dear God in Heaven... WTF was that this morning????!!!!

Admittedly, I haven't been in a IKEA in about 20 years and I probably should have left it that way.  I just need a rocking chair. Which I am having the worst trouble finding. Do people not rock anymore???

First it took forever to get there. Too much traffic but a decent parking spot was found.  Then I am not really sure what happened in the next hour.  I remember going through the doors and then it was like being at first gate at Disneyland.  Only instead of running me over to get to Space Mountain first, I was trampled so people could grab soft plushie toys and bounce on really low to the ground beds and chairs.

Walking around and around and around - a never ending spiral of running people and no visible exits.  I was feeling very crazed and twitchy by this point.  Finally spotted a bright yellow shirted IKEA worker and he must have seen the twitchy in my eyes because I demanded to know where the exit was - the actual, real exit - to the door - OUTSIDE world, not another spiral of hell.  He gave very succinct directions - to an emergency exit.  

I am pretty sure I am still walking around, trapped forever in dim lighting and crap furniture. I just don't know it yet. *twitch*

(also, no rocking chair)