Cutting Barley's Nails - Traumatizing for Everyone

I can feel myself tensing up already LOL  But the funny thing is I am actually not cutting her nails tomorrow - I am taking her to the vet to have her glands expressed and the claws done while she's there.     I am pretty sure I have PTSD just from getting her into her travel bag and having to listen to her yowl the entire 20 minute drive to the vet.

Usually, USUALLY, I can at least get the tips of her claws - enough that she isn't sticking to the carpet anyway. But lately, she has been full on Exorcist when we try to do this.   I have watched ten billion videos and each time I say, "how drugged up is that cat?"

Because man, my cat is like the opposite of those cats.  Right now, the best way to even attempt her nails is to put her on the table, cover her with a towel, and pull out each limb and try to snip the tips off before she pulls it back in, or flinches, making it impossible to get it.

The contraptions available for this endeavor are hilarious and make me think that my cat is not unusual in the "hating the nails trimmed," department. But then I try to figure out HOW to get her into said contraptions without suffering severe claw and bite marks.     

I guess the hanging bag would work if one could stuff her into it and then keep her from flailing her limbs about. But I about died laughing when I saw the Kitty Hannibal Lecter masks/deep sea diving balls. 

I think what I need is about five more people to hold her down because my Barley is a mini-tornado on nail cutting days. I need to ask the vet how they do it and how many people it takes. HAHA